The Mommy Life

I don't have many pictures for this post.. it's more of a moment where I look at my life & I want to capture it before I forget how crazy and wonderful things have been lately. Being a mom is hard. Being a young mom is harder. There are times when I hear a song from three years ago & a flood of memories come back.  There are times when I get frustrated. The moments are few and far apart, but they come none the less. I'm not complaining, I just need to remind myself that it's okay. It's okay to reminisce on the old times, and to think about the memories before I was pregnant. I'm saying this because I feel like people think this whole mother thing is an easy thing to do. Sleepless nights aren't as hard as hearing your baby scream of pain & not being able to do anything. Giving up going out isn't nearly as heart breaking as it is leaving your baby to go to work. What I'm getting at is- Once you have a baby, you're committed. Not just physically, but emotionally. You make a commitment not to your self, but this little life you have created. That grew inside you for almost 10 months (yes, a pregnancy is longer than 9 months. 40 weeks is closer to 10 months). The commitment is wholesome & better than anything you will ever commit to in your whole entire life. It is such a gratifying, empowering experience to be a mom. & while sometimes it is hard, & sometimes I get frustrated, it comes with the job. The frustration gets replaced with overwhelming joy, because you have your whole world laying next to you smiling just because you're there. I have learned to cherish every sleepy smile, every happy giggle, because now I see things from a different perspective. The sun shines brighter & the tree's look greener. Things I never thought about twice, I find myself pondering about for days at a time. What once was living through life fearlessly has now turned into living life cautiously. I'm not my own priority anymore, Braeden is, and it is the most amazing feeling one can ever feel. You won't know until you are in this same exact place. I always heard all the typical cliches that come with parenthood, but now they hit home. I know to cherish every moment, because there are times I feel so overwhelmed with the love that has grown for my family. There are moments I want to stop time & remember the feeling forever. No matter how I try to piece these words together, they won't come close to being able to express how I feel. Yes, I have given up living recklessly,  but I have gained so much more. And you know what the most beautiful part about this whole parenting thing is? I will always be gaining, I will always cherish these moments, & the sun will always shine brighter.