Insomnia in the a.m.

Woke up at 4 45 a.m, because matt was getting ready for work, & Braeden was going poop. I decided to feed him after I changed him, & he was so happy & couldn't stop smiling, so I just laid in bed, enjoying his company makin' him laugh. So now it's 6 20 a.m & I can't sleep. I know I'm gonna be regretting it big time later on throughout the day, but that's okay. It's moments like those that will forever stick with me.
The closer I get to having to go back to work, the more I'm freaking out. I'm going to be working early mornings so that I can still spend the day with Braeden, but the thought of waking up at 4 in the morning, on a regular basis doesn't exactly thrill me. I'm dreading coming home exhausted, & I don't want that to take quality time from Braeden, but I'll have to make it work. I will make it work. The nice thing about it, is getting payed as much as I did before I went on maternity leave. & since we're in the process of house hunting, it will be nice. Especially since we're going to be remodeling a lot of it, to fit our taste. We've been looking around for a while now, & have found a complex where we for sure want to live. It was a security guard 24/7 & while that doesn't seem like much, it's HARD to get into that place, so it makes me feel more secure.
I've lived at home my whole life, & I'm extremely close to my family, so it's a big step for me. I hate, hate, HATE being alone in a house, so I don't exactly know how I'm going to do with that either. But the idea of creating a home, with my family excites me. I'll get over my fear of being alone eventually. It's just so cozy in my home now, I wonder how long it will be to make OUR home cozy, which I'm sure we will, cause I'm pretty excited about decorating it. We went to Home Depot & estimated how much the remodeling along would be, & it's pretty pricey, but it will be exactly how we want it. We're not in a rush, cause like I said, it's pretty cozy here. (:

This is how we hangout sometimes (:

I can't even express how much this baby loves his Daddy. Sometimes I even get a LIIIITTLLEE jelous.